BREAKING NEWS: FCC Reinstates Morse Code Testing for Ham Radio Operators
In a shocking turn of events, the Federal Communications Commission (FCC) has announced the reinstatement of Morse code testing for all ham radio operators. This decision has left the amateur radio community buzzing like a swarm of confused bees.
In a statement released by FCC Commissioner, Hapless McWireless, he expressed the agency’s belief in the timeless importance of Morse code in the realm of amateur radio. “In an age of emojis and voice-activated assistants, we feel it’s crucial to preserve the art of Morse code communication,” McWireless said, seemingly unaware of the cacophony of disbelief echoing across the airwaves.
The decision has sparked outrage among ham radio enthusiasts, many of whom haven’t touched a Morse code key since the days of rotary phones and cassette tapes. “I haven’t used Morse Code since the ’80s!” lamented one operator, who wished to remain anonymous to protect his dignity.
To accommodate the sudden influx of Morse code enthusiasts, ham radio clubs across the country, including the PRA, have hastily organized “Code-A-Thons” and “Dot-Dash Dance Parties” to help operators brush up on their rusty skills. The PRA Board approved that the club even offer free donuts to anyone who could successfully send the entire lyrics of “Stairway to Heaven” in Morse code.
However, not everyone is opposed to the FCC’s decision. “I’ve been waiting for this moment my entire life,” declared Herbert Ditsniffer, a self-proclaimed Morse code aficionado. “Finally, my years of practicing Morse code with my pet parakeet, Beaky, will pay off!”
In response to concerns about the practicality of Morse code in modern communication, Commissioner McWireless assured the public that Morse code proficiency would be essential for emergency situations, such as zombie apocalypses and alien invasions.
As the ham radio community scrambles to dust off their telegraph keys and decipher the difference between dots and dashes, one thing is for certain: the airwaves will soon be filled with the rhythmic clatter of Morse code once again. Whether this resurgence will lead to a new era of communication or simply a resurgence in carpal tunnel syndrome remains to be seen. The PRA will be updating its “Hold Harmless Agreement” as a result of the potential carpal tunnel syndrome risks.
If you’ve made it this far in this, and haven’t laughed yet, please check the publication date of this month’s President’s Corner. I hope you laughed! Now, go get on the air!
73,
Dan – N2SRK
President
Parker Radio Association